So where in the heck did all this bungee madness come from anyway? Is it true that there was a divergence in the evolutionary process tens of thousands of years ago? Could it be that while one form of homosapien followed the primates to evolve into their current state of cognitive triumph, superiority and sovereignty over the creatures of this tiny planet, that a very similar species following a parallel genetic path actually evolved from the LEMMING. Yes, you guessed it bungee jumpers are a distant relative to that cute furry creature that runs in giant herds to the sea and then plummets off the ocean cliffs into the waiting abyss!
Hey, I know it sounds far fetched but don’t take my word for it. Check it out for yourself. Next time your are around a bungee jumper get up real close to them and look deep into their beady little eyes and you will see that wild and crazed look of the little Lemming leering back at you. And while you are getting in their face you might as well take a good whiff of their breath and you tell me what you smell! Yes, you guessed it! That distinct odder is none other than the faint remnant of Hamster food. The meal of choice of bungee jumpers (and Lemmings) world wide.
Now if this isn’t enough evidence that bungee jumpers are not quite like the rest of us good old God Fearing humans. Hang out at your local pet store for a day or two and you will see that it is really not a pet store at all but merely a front, an elaborate hoax to hide the real business of recruiting, soliciting and caring for that strange and warped population known as bungee enthusiast. Hey, it worked in the fine in 1958 for Dino Brugiani and the CIA massacring as Steuart Motor Company in Washington DC. Yes, even Lockeeds own James Plummer of the clandestine CORONA PROJECT hid out right under the nose of the world by letting everyone think that project DISCOVER was a non-classified aerospace project.
I know, I know, I know right about now you are wondering what the hell I am talking about and how it relates to bungee jumping anyway. Well to be quite honest so am I. I guess the bottom line of this historical digression is going to be that Bungee Jumpers are everywhere. They are normal looking everyday people just like you and I. They have real jobs and real families with real lives, its just that they have chose to push the envelope a bit more that 99.99999% of the rest of humankind. In the sense that they have chose to face one of the greatest if not the biggest innate fear we as a species possess, and that of course being the FEAR OF FALLING.
For the strong hearted that have stuck with us this far I will now go into a brief description of the real history of bungee jumping or (land diving as it truly originated). O yes, let us get one thing squared away right up front and that is the spelling of bungee, a.k.a. bungy, a.k.a. bungie. The word bungee is of English decent not New Zealand or Australian. Since the majority of the world considers the Anglo-Saxons as the developers and originators of the English language I would tend to go with the English spelling of bungee which possesses the (ee) ending on the word and not the missing ("y" Chromosome) of the New Zealanders. I mean give me a break! When was the last time you heard of anyone referring to the Oxford (New Zealand) Language Dictionary?
For those of you that are doing research project do not fear I will be disclosing my source at the end of this dissertation. To take a line from that famous radio personality Paul Harvey, "now for the rest of the story."
As legend has it some fifteen hundred years ago a tribal woman was attempting to escape her enraged mate, (for the sake of the story we will call him OJ). The woman was chased up a giant Banyan tree as OJ chased after her with murder in his eyes. Now our little native girl , the heroin of our story was no match for the larger athletically built steroid enhanced OJ so she had no choice but to use her mind instead of her brawn. She climbed and climbed yet OJ continued after her. She was at the point toward the top of the tree where she simply could climb no longer. The diameter of the branches was such that they would not even support her slender and O so succulent sun bronzed frame. The tropical sun beat down upon her as she hung and clutched tightly to the branches with her tiny aching fingers. From below she could hear the snapping of limbs and heavy breathing as OJ continued his relentless psychotic pursuit upward through the tangled web of vines and branches. Our heroine took one last fleeting glimpse upward toward the top of the Banyan tree, the high noon sun causing her to squint her crystal aqua blue eyes as tears pour down her brown flushed cheeks.
Then it happened with her testosterone gorged adversary closing in on her, she had a lone desperate thought. Perhaps, just perhaps, if she were to tie one of the vines that were woven throughout the tree all around her she might , yes she just might be able to jump away from the lethal arms of her would be assailant. She did not have anytime to question the what ifs of her situation. A moments hesitation and the fall to earth below would be of no consequence. For as she tied the last knot around her petite ankle she could feel OJ’s larcenous hands reaching out for her.
She leaped from atop the majestic giant green tree with the grace of a Panther while simultaneously letting out the hair raising scream of a full grown Jaguar in heat. She had done it: she had escaped the vice-grip hands of OJ.
